UFC on FOX 7 Postfight Thoughts: Splits, KO’s, And The Damn DVR

After a long and difficult internal debate, I have made the executive decision to go forward with this article. What was the subject of my internal debate? It had nothing to do with the fights or the fighters. It didn’t relate to the 1,000 word piece I could have penned on Mike Beltran’s look (which I saw described as “if Pippi Longstocking met a Hell’s Angel)”). It had to do with my damn DVR.

This might wander into “cool story, bro” territory, but I don’t care. I plopped down on my couch at about 8:30 PT Saturday, sick as a dog and ready to cheer up by watching a days worth of MMA. I queued up my DVR and didn’t see it. I thought, okay. The DVR has been recording everyone’s shit all day. Maybe it’s just down a screen or two.

No dice.

Since I live with a 6 year old, I knew what happened immediately. Immediately. But that didn’t make the confirmation any less painful. I started checking out the shows that had been recorded, and the times that they were recorded. The UFC on FOX main card was replaced by 4 episodes of Jessie.

What a dagger.

(fade to black)

(white noise)

Look, you have to understand that my programming does not dominate my families’ DVR unit. If anything, I record MMA and whatever Star Trek reruns happen to be airing that week. So to have my beloved FOX card replaced by 4 episodes of propaganda that my stepdaughter has already seen multiple times (I’ve seen all of them, too … I could probably recite every episode to you. If you have any questions about Jessie or other subpar Disney programming, I’m here to answer them. You’re producing filth, Disney. Filth.), especially when I was sick … I mean, it sucked. It sucked. I didn’t even have the intestinal fortitude to confront her. Maybe it was an accident. I considered it a column lost.

Then I actually watched the card. Holy Roli Delgado! What a night of fights that was! Gotta go through some thoughts …

- Ramsey Nijem’s striking.

The first round of Myles Jury vs. Ramsey Nijem was a wildly entertaining grappling match. They changed positions a bunch of times, and this wasn’t due to sloppy grappling. To borrow a cliché, it was a chess match on the floor. One guy would gain a position, the other guy would counter, and back and forth it went. It was an evenly contested fight on the floor, and it resulted in an opening stanza that was a true delight to watch.

Then, Ramsey came out in the second round and started throwing punches. A short time later, he was blankly staring at the ceiling after Joe Rogan correctly predicted that he was wide open for a counter punch.

The lack of technique isn’t even the biggest red flag here. Ramsey Nijem looks like he has literally never thrown a punch in his entire life. He punches like he just lost a spirited game of Starcraft at a LAN party. It’s like he runs in hoping to hit someone with his head, and then decides to punch at the last second.

I’d love to see his striking improve, because he’s a well rounded grappler and ground and pounder. Back to the drawing board.

- It must be nice for Frank Mir to have a loss on his record that didn’t end with him not remembering what happened.

What a completely unfair and armchair fighter-ish thing of me to say. I’m ashamed.

- Dana White should never, ever talk about fight strategy. It should never happen.

Why do I do this to myself? Why do I go back and pick nits about the words of someone I know to be an imbecile, especially when I know he’ll never, ever stop spouting off at the mouth as though he had the foggiest idea what he was talking about? I don’t know. I think there’s something wrong with me. Here’s a Dana quote that ran in Ben Fowlkes’ article about “octagon jitters”, which can be found here.

“I guarantee you, the Mein kid, he was nervous,” White said. “He had the jitters. Big fight for him on national television against Matt Brown. When he hurt him with that body shot, you don’t jump on top of him and try to guillotine him. You f—ing make him stand up and go back to that body.”

Matt Brown is a crazy person.

Let’s break this down, piece by piece.

“I guarantee you, the Mein kid, he was nervous. He had the jitters.”

Is Dana aware that Jordan Mein had already made his UFC debut, an impressive TKO victory over Dan Miller? It sure doesn’t sound like it.

His nervousness was what did him in against Matt Brown, not the fact that Brown fights like he’s late for a wedding. That must be it.

“When he hurt him with that body shot, you don’t jump on top of him and try to guillotine him.”

Matt Brown has been submitted 10 times in his career. 3 of those have come by way of the guillotine choke. So, going for a guillotine seems to me to be a great idea, especially when you have him hurt. Brown’s head simply wasn’t in the right spot, and he was able to get out of it. But to act as though this was a really stupid thing to go for is asinine. It’d be like saying “I can’t believe that guy tried to stand and trade with Jonathan Goulet! That guy has an iron chin!”

“You f—ing make him stand up and go back to that body.”

“Fedor sucks.”

Does Dana even watch these fights? Seriously, Dana, do you watch these fights? Do you?

After Brown escaped Mein’s guillotine, guess what part of Matt Brown he hammered on? Go ahead, I’ll give it a second. Take a guess.


*still waiting*

That’s right. He hammered Matt Brown’s BODY! And he hammered away at it from an advantageous position, a rare moment in the fight when he wasn’t vulnerable. You’re telling Mein he should have let the guy who was emasculating him on the feet … back up to his feet?! Wow. I’m never not amazed by how idiotic this man can be. Other than that, tip top analysis.

Great fight, too.

- Ben Henderson is clearly a man who relishes the opportunity to fight for five rounds.

The problem is that I think he keeps losing five round fights. My scorecard read 48-47 Melendez, with Gilbert winning the 1st, 2nd, and 5th rounds. This was not a great fight, though. No man really put his stamp on any one round, and you really could have scored every round for either man.

Neither man made an earnest attempt to finish the fight, and that’s fine. However, when that’s the case (which it seems to be with these Ben Henderson title defenses), don’t get too upset at the fact that Ben keeps getting his hand raised.

Couple more thoughts on Ben, then I’m done. First, I thought it was kind of funny that the crowd booed all the way through Ben’s proposal to his girlfriend, not because they dislike him, but because they hated the decision. Christ himself could have descended from Heaven to shake Ben’s hand, and the crowd still would have booed. Gotta love MMA fans. The whole scene was somehow less awkward than Ben’s usual postfight interview where he gives dap to Jesus. That’s no small statement, either.

I could never imagine putting someone on the spot like this.

Second, you know that tic Ben has where he brushes his hair back with his left hand? I’d love to see someone take advantage of that. Like, play it safe until a strand of hair falls in his face. You know he’s brushing it back soon. Right when you see the hair go down, just come forward with the craziest, most ridiculous strike you can think of. Maybe you can catch him mid-brush and take his belt.

Enjoy watching the pointless slaughter that is scheduled to take place at UFC 159 this Saturday. Hey, at least Jon Jones is fighting.

Leave a Reply